Well, obviously I didn't too well keeping up with this blogging thing but after you read this post you will probably understand why I really was either a) too busy to blog or b) to dang tired to blog. Although I probably should have made time because there has been so much going on that it would have been interesting to look back on at some point. Ill try to fill in the blanks..
So the last time I posted was on July 25th and I was 21 weeks pregnant with our sweet little Caden and I was just starting to decorate the nursery. Since then, I've finished the nursery, had lots of ultrasounds and drs appointments (all of which were good, thank the good Lord), took my big belly to Disney World, had two baby showers, took maternity pics and FINALLY (after 23 hours of an extremely hard labor which I'm saving for another post) on Thursday, November 22, 2012, at 7:59pm Thanksgiving Day welcomed my sweet baby boy into this world!!! Here's some pics to sum up all of that:
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| Maternity Pics - 32 weeks |
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| His nursery completed! |
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| Disney World - 28/29 weeks |
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| 17 weeks/27 weeks/34 weeks... woah. |
Last year, Mick's dad was out building a huge barn when he kept getting dizzy. He finally decided to ask his Dr about it and they said he had vertigo. Ok, no big deal we thought. After weeks of it not getting better, they did a scan of his head and found a huge tumor pushing on his nerves at the top of his neck/bottom of his scull... they told us it wasn't cancerous and that they would be able to do surgery and get it out. For some crazy reason they waited another month to do the surgery and in the mean time, the tumor started causing his face to droop and become numb. While in surgery, they discovered that they were wrong... it was cancer. Talk about making you sick to your stomach. The worst part of this, was that the cancer had spread from somewhere else in his body and they had to find where it was coming from. Come to find out it was Renal Cell Carcinoma, which is cancer of the kidneys and it had already spread from his kidneys, to some spots on his rib cage, up to the bone in his shoulder blade and then up to the tumor in his head. Needless to day, there was nothing they could do but start him on meds and pray for the best. This is the only type of cancer you cant do chemo for. You can only take medicine, which is pretty much chemo in a pill form.
My husband was an absolute wreck. It was hard enough knowing we were going to lose him, but to wake up late at night with your husband balling his eyes out, trying to accept the fact that we didn't have his dad for much longer was just as hard and broke my heart to pieces. To see any man cry like that is hard, but for it to be your husband makes it that much worse knowing you cant do anything to help him. (makes me cry thinking about it)
So... they immediately did what they call a CyberKnife on the tumor in his head to kill it and they started him on a drug called Sutent. Some people's bodies have great success on this drug and some people's don't but we were willing to try anything. It was a LONG year of him being really sick and not so pleasant some days, but this drug kept his dad alive MUCH longer than they originally gave him. We were able to have one more Thanksgiving and one more Christmas with him. We were able to celebrate one more of his birthdays, one more (almost) football season and most importantly, we were able to tell him that we were pregnant and that he had to try his best to hold on until December 2 so he could meet his very first grandson!! After losing the first one that would have been here in July, we couldn't WAIT to tell him.. but we were also scared to death of what actually happened.
Mickey Jeffcoat, Sr. passed away on Sunday morning, November 4, 2011 at 8am that morning.... 2 weeks and 4 days shy of meeting Caden. He just couldn't make it. His body was too tired. He wanted to be in the comfort of his own home when he went to meet the Lord, so we watched him struggle all weekend, counting his breaths per minute until finally he took his last one. My Mick was there, right next to the bed when he finally let go. Longest weekend of my entire life.... and being 36 weeks pregnant, the emotions were overflowing. Here's a pic of Mick and Dad at our wedding:
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| Mick's "Best Man" - Mickey Jeffcoat, Sr aka Daddy Jeffcoat |
His dad was a super important part of this family.. especially to my Mick. Dad Js not here anymore, but my Mick is so so much like his father it's not even funny. And some days that drives me absolutely NUTS but it's funny to watch. The things that drove him crazy, like how particular he was with his stuff, how anal and organized he was (you BEST put it back the exact way he had it) and how he wanted to take pics and videos of everything are the things that my Mick drives ME crazy about. I'm pretty organized myself, but good grief! ;) He gets it honest, thats for sure.
Dad bought Caden some outfits before he passed so when I put him in them we both get a little choked up. I also went and bought one of those recordable storybooks and had his dad read it for Caden, so he would be able to hear his voice. Luckily I had him do it just in time before things got too bad. We haven't gotten that out yet or listened to it yet.. I don't think I'm ready for it. One of the hardest things is not hearing Mick talk to his dad. It was so normal for Mick to say, "Let me call Dad and ask him" and "Lets go out and see Dad".. It breaks my heart that he cant pick up the phone to tell him what a huge rack this deer had or that he cant email him pictures of what he gets on his cameras. I miss that the most and I know Mick does too. One comment Mick made to me while we were dealing with all of this was, "How am I supposed to know how to be a good dad when my dad's not here to help me?" omg, crocodile tears started flowing. I will never, ever forget that. What do you say to that? I simply said "He's already shown you how. He spent the last 34 years showing you how to be a good dad." Talk about heart-wrenching...
Well, It's been a month since he's passed now and Mick still has his moments and says pretty often "I miss Dad".. all I know to say is "I do too babe." I so wish that Caden would have been able to meet his PawPaw. He would have had an absolute blast riding 4wheelers with him and playing out in the woods at all their land out in Lillian... but I know that God left that for my Mick. To teach Caden all of the things Dad taught him. He was one heck of a hunter and a fisherman, so is my hubby and I'm sure my little boy will be too. Some of Caden's expression look like his PawPaw and he has his ears, for sure... so we know God has a plan and His own timing, so deep down in my heart I think that God knew we would miss Dad so he gave us a little version, with pieces of him, to look at everyday. That makes us sad and happy all at the same time.
SOOO needless to say.. it was definitely a "November to Remember". One of the saddest and happiest month's of my entire life. And one I'll NEVER, EVER forget.
Thats all for now. Hopefully I'll be able to blog more now so my posts wont be so dang long! Thanks for reading.... Love yall.
-Linz
